The Truth About Aunt Michelle
by Arglefumph
Summary: The boys learn the truth about why they never see their Aunt Michelle.


Max came bounding into the room with a book in his hands. "Look at what I found!" he cried excitedly. "It's amazing!"

"What is it, a book on window washing?" Jackson quipped, barely looking up from his cell phone.

"Ha ha," Max said sarcastically. "For your information, it's our family photo album. They have pictures of _everyone_ in here!"

"Even Grandma?" Jackson asked with interest. He had never met Grandma Pamela.

"You bet!" Max said, flipping the book open. "See, here's a photo of her, Mom and Stephanie!"

"Let me see," Jackson said. He looked at the photo, then bit his lip. "Who's the baby?"

"Huh?" Max asked.

"There's a baby in that picture," he said. He flipped the page. "And this one, and..."

"Holy chalupas!" Max said. "She's everywhere! Who is she?"

"It says Michelle here," Jackson said. "Don't we have an Aunt Michelle somewhere?"

"I dunno," said Max. "There were, like, fifty people at our last Thanksgiving. I can't remember them all!"

"No, I think we _do_ have an Aunt Michelle," Jackson said. "At least, these pictures say we do. Let's go ask Mom."

* * *

Jackson and Max bounded down the stairs to the kitchen, where DJ and Stephanie were washing dishes.

"Mom, do we have an Aunt Michelle?" Max asked.

DJ dropped the dish she was holding, while Stephanie gasped.

"So we _do_ have another aunt!" Jack said. "How come we never see her?"

"I...um..." DJ stuttered.

"She's in New York, working on her career in fashion," Stephanie said. She turned to give a blank stare at the wall, something which confused the children to no end.

DJ sighed. "Steph, I think we can tell him the truth now," she said. "He's old enough."

"Yeah, I'm old enough!" Max said. He turned to Jackson and smiled. "Sorry, you'll have to wait a few years."

"Ha ha ha," Jackson said.

"Michelle was... _is_ your aunt," DJ said. "She was so much fun growing up. Such a lively personality!"

"She was _always_ the center of attention," Stephanie said. "It was really great being around her...until the accident."

"What accident?"

"The horse riding accident," DJ said. "Michelle fell off of a horse and got amnesia."

Stephanie shook her head. "She was never the same again, after that day. It was like she was a completely different person! And she had...hallucinations."

"Hallucinations?" Jackson asked. "You mean she saw things that weren't there?"

DJ nodded. "Michelle kept saying that she could see another girl, one who looked just like her. She spent weeks running around the house, trying to capture the girl. I forget why."

"Hug memory," Stephanie said.

"Huh?" DJ asked.

"I lived in the same room as her, remember? I heard a lot more of her ramblings than you did," Stephanie said. "Michelle thought if she hugged the other girl, she'd get her memory back. I tried to convince her it was okay, she could make _new_ memories with us...but it didn't work."

"Nothing worked," DJ said. "Eventually, Dad had her sent to intense psychiatric care. Michelle has lived there ever since."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Jackson said. "Are you saying our Aunt Michelle was committed to an _insane asylum?_ "

"Yes," DJ said. "It's the greatest tragedy our family ever went though."

"I'll say!" Max said. "Aunt Michelle owes me seven years of birthday presents!"

"Max!" everyone scolded.

"What?" Max said. "I'm just saying, Aunt Michelle should-"

At that moment, Kimmy bounded into the room with her usual enthusiasm. "We're talking about crazy Michelle Tanner?" she asked. "Good, that means you read the letter, too!"

"Letter?" DJ asked. "What letter?"

"About Michelle," Kimmy said.

Everyone stared at Kimmy blankly.

"The one we got after the phone call?" Kimmy asked. "The night of my bachelorette party?"

"I had so much to drink that night, I can't remember what we did," DJ said. "Did it have something to do with Michelle?"

"Wait, I think I remember something like that," Stephanie said. "We drunk dialed her."

"And pranked her something fierce!" Kimmy said.

"Mom makes prank phone calls?" Jackson wondered.

"Don't you dare think about doing your own prank calls," DJ warned.

"Yeah, you'll get in trouble like we did," Kimmy said. "Good thing my parents aren't here, or they'd ground me for a month. Or worse, make me go back home with them!"

"Could we get back to this letter?" Stephanie asked.

"Right!" Kimmy said. "Well, we got a letter from the Bob Saget Mental Institution. Apparently, one of the doctors thinks that we might be the cause of Crazy Michelle's brain problems! So he's bringing her over here tomorrow to clear the air!"

"Michelle is coming _here?!_ "

"TOMORROW?"

"With my presents?!" Max asked.

"Tomorrow the 18th," Kimmy confirmed. "I can't believe you didn't know about this! Why didn't you read the letter? It had your name on the envelope."

"If the letter had _my name_ on it, why did _you_ read it?" Stephanie asked.

"I always read your mail," Kimmy shrugged. "You can never be too careful! There are a lot of weirdos out there!"

"Wait," DJ said. "Did you say the 18th? As in today?"

"No, it's tomorrow. Isn't it?" Kimmy asked. "Is it Thursday? What year is it?"

The doorbell rang, and DJ paled. "Is that who I think it is?" she asked.

"You got it, Dude," Stephanie said.

* * *

There on the front doorstep was Michelle Tanner. She looked almost normal, except for the straightjacket. The attendant with her assured everyone it was for her own safety.

"Hi, Michelle," DJ said. "Remember me?"

"Mom?" Michelle asked.

"Er...no, not exactly..." DJ said.

"And you must be Aunt Becky," Michelle said to Stephanie.

"No, I'm Stephanie. Your older sister? We lived in the same room together?"

"WHAT?" Michelle barked.

"That was twenty years ago," Stephanie said kindly. "We're all a little older now."

"Surely, you remember me!" Kimmy said. "Your best buddy, Kimmy!"

"You're the obnoxious one,"Michelle said.

"Congratulations, she remembers you perfectly," Stephanie smiled.

"And these are my sons, Jackson and Max," DJ said.

"Hi! Did you get me any presents?" Max asked.

"Nice to meet you," Jackson said politely.

"You had kids?!" Michelle asked. "No way, Jose! You married Steve? I thought he would grow up to become a fat, bald, stalker!"

DJ paled. "Um...er..."

"Let's just say, you got two out of three right," Stephanie said.

Kimmy looked confused. "But Steve isn't bald!" she said.

"I'll explain later," Stephanie whispered.

"TWINS!" Michelle shouted.

"What?" DJ asked.

"She talks about twins sometimes," the attendant said. "Two girls named Mary Kate and Ashley. We've tried looking for these girls, but we have no idea who they are."

"In the crib!" Michelle sad. "There are twins in the crib!"

"Oh! That's my baby, Tommy Junior," DJ said. "Tommy, say hello to your Aunt Michelle!"

"That's not one baby!" Michelle said. "It's two different babies, playing the same role! You have to save them!"

"Michelle, please, calm down," the attendant said. "There's no reason to get upset."

"No...no reason?"

"Yes," DJ said. "We're all your family members, and we love you."

"Even if you're a little kooky!" Kimmy said. "Usually, people think _I'm_ the crazy one!"

"They're not wrong," Stephanie muttered.

Michelle laughed. "Family," she said. "The funny family! I should visit more often!"

"We...we'd love to have you," DJ said.

"But I have to find the people who gave me that mean phone call first!" Michelle said. "I bet _they_ stole my memory! And Dad! Where is he?"

"Dad moved away," Stephanie said.

"I have three daddies!" Michelle said.

"They all moved away," Kimmy said.

"And they're not willing to make multi-hour trips so they can appear in every episode?" Michelle asked. "That's so inconsiderate of them! They should overshadow us constantly! Our glory days are behind us! Behiiiind usssssss!"

"Oh, dear, I'm afraid this is too much for her," the attendant said. "I'll have to take her back to the asylum now."

Everyone said goodbye, as the attendant led Michelle out of the house. Michelle shouted incoherently about appearing on Season Two.

As soon as Michelle was gone, DJ let out a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness," she said. "I love Michelle, but seeing her like this...especially without any _warning..._ "

"It's okay," Stephanie said, hugging her sister. "I understand. And she was a lot better than the last time we saw her, right? Maybe someday, she'll be back to normal."

"Maybe..." DJ said doubtfully.

* * *

...And that's the _real_ reason why Michelle isn't on _Fuller House_.


End file.
